The Squichi Files: How New Avalon's Forge Was (Really) Decimated

Squichi Mechablade cleared her throat and stood, shuffling to the front of the circle as it became her turn to share a story with the group, consisting of Lucinda, Alexxia, Sheikaris, Vera, Wispers, and a few others. The Gargantuan Incendiary Retribution bot, GIR, clanked along behind her, his torso rotating suddenly to light up the bushes behind them at a menacing sound that could only be a ninja assassin threatening the life of his programmed object of defense, his massive machine-gun arms firing round after round at the ferocious fiend! ...A squirrel squeaked its last breath, keeling over onto the grass. GIR turned back around, satisfied that the threat was gone as his barrels smoked with pride. His job... never done.

Squichi barely seemed to notice the horrified stares of the rest of the people, or the gunfire... it was almost like it happened too regularly to pay attention to anymore. She brushed herself up, readying her tale.

"Well! my story begins with a gnome in a workshop. Please keep in mind that this character is NOT to be confused with yours truly, the one and only, majorly mighty, ginormously genius Squichi Mechablade!"

"She shared this shop with her counterpart and fellow master of engineering, though this one, a draenei, specialized in gnomish engineering, while the gnome specialized in goblin engineering! ...Go figure."

"...Again, the draenei is NOT to be confused with the ever-wonderful... if a bit addled... Miss Jadearra of Echoes of Virtue!"

Already, she saw a few looks turn from pleasantly confused to suspicious. She continued on, regardless:

"Anyway, one day, the gnome and her trusty battle-bot came across a washed-up lump of metal in the sand of the beach off of New Avalon while working tirelessly on the gyrocopter waiters that were once requested of her!"

"The battle-bot went on the alert, though the gnome - ever curious and explorative! - went to have a closer look. Digging the large thing out of the ground, she found it to be an unused seaforium bomb! She looked it over, fascinated as to how the thing had survived the ocean and corrosion."

"She strapped it to her ever-bumbling-but-faithful mechawyvern, who flew it - with great strain to his poor engines! - back to the workshop. The gnome set the bomb in the forge building, away from the tent where her mechs and gyros were, like a smart gnome, to prepare to disarm and cut the thing open, and she headed back to said tent to retrieve her tools!"

"While she was gone, apparently her counterpart walked in, a couple of missiles she'd pilfered from a nearby Horde armory under her arms. She set them down on a conveniently-located, if round and cylindrical, table right next to the forge!"

"As the gnome stepped back into the forge after retrieving her tools, there stood her friend, hammering away with great... vigor... on the missiles she'd procured. 'They're disarmed!' the draenei chirped to the gnome, but it was not the small missiles that brought concern..."

"A rather large, heavy, and draenei-death-knight-muscle-powered swing missed the missiles... and hit the surface of the bomb. The gnome's hopes for the thing to be inactive or a dud were... false, to say the least."

"Both gnome and draenei went flying, and were both lucky to have been wearing plate mail! ...The draenei was also lucky to have already been dead, for the blast sent her right into the water, where she promptly sank, and had to trudge out of the water along the bottom of the sea."

"The gnome managed to barely miss the gigantic lumber mill sawblade, but made a nice crater in the floor behind it."

"...And that's how the New Avalon forge got destroyed and the lumber mill floor was damaged!"

The tiny gnome faltered a bit as the druid, Lucinda, was fixating an eye on her accusingly. She continued, the confidence drained significantly from her voice:

"...And I might wish to remind you that neither character is in any way to be confused with myself or Jade! ...In fact, we were both busy that day! ...Golfing, as it were! Yes! Now... ah... I will... be seated now... I know nothing more than that... not their names... or their company... or their appearances... or their current locations..."

Squichi scurried back to her seat rather quickly, twiddling her thumbs amidst the glares of the crowd. The only one laughing appeared to be Wispers as GIR let Hell loose upon another poor critter in the distant trees, forcing it to feel his fearsome fury with fiery destruction.